Why I Think I Hit The Jackpot In The Friendship Lottery
LIFE STORIES
It was New Year’s Eve. Fireworks exploded in the distance, laughter echoed from neighbouring houses. But inside mine, my relationship was collapsing.
My partner and I were arguing — again. But this time, something in me snapped. I was done. I grabbed a couple of suitcases, stuffing them with whatever I could, and told him I was leaving.
He laughed.
“At this time of night? Where are you even going? How will you get anywhere with all that luggage?”
1. The Friend
Hands shaking, I grabbed my phone and texted my friend, “I don’t know what to do. I just know I need to leave.”
Her response was instant.
“I’m on my way.”
She drove 30 miles across town, straight into the chaos. My ex was still mid-argument when she walked in. His expression? Shock.
Mine? Relief.
That’s what a true friend does. They don’t just turn up for the good times. They may not have all the answers, or even the means to fix things, but they’ll show up however they can. They won’t tell you to stop crying — they’ll cry with you.
2. The Cheerleader
When I first set up a Facebook page I sent out a load of messages asking friends to like it. Slowly, the numbers crept up — tens, then hundreds.
Some of those people I hardly knew. Others were childhood friends, old schoolmates, or distant acquaintances. I thanked them all, but one reply stood out.
“It’s not the page I like — it’s the person behind the page.”
That’s what a cheerleader does. They might not dive into the trenches with you, but they’ll clap for you from the sidelines. They’ll like your posts, support your business, and send you words of encouragement.
If a friend doesn’t want to run the full 900 yards with you, don’t be offended. Accept them for who they are — your cheerleader.
My friend passed away unexpectedly not long after our short exchange. I was gutted and I treasure the screenshot of their message like gold.
3. The Mentor
University was a struggle. I had a part-time job, but it barely covered the basics. I envied students who could focus solely on their studies, rather than constantly calculating whether they could afford lunch that day.
Meanwhile, my friend was thriving. She had started her own business, bought herself a brand-new car, and was settling into her first home. We lived in completely different financial worlds. One day, she casually said, “I need a bit of help in the office. Can you work for me part-time?”
She disguised her generosity as an opportunity, knowing I wouldn’t accept charity. She paid me well for simple tasks, ensuring I never felt like a handout. And because of her, I could breathe a little easier.
But that wasn’t all. She became my mentor. She showed me how to think beyond just getting a job and chasing a salary. At the time, I resisted. My younger self just wanted a comfortable corporate job with a fat pay cheque and benefits.
She was trying to open my eyes to a bigger world. I didn’t always listen. But she never gave up on me.
I owe so much of who I am to her.
4. The Coach
I raised my daughter alone and always had to be extra careful with money. When it was time for her first Prom I wanted her to have the dress she dreamed of, the shoes she loved, the experience she deserved but money was tight. A family member then promised to contribute towards the expenses. So I put everything on my credit card, trusting the money would arrive.
It never did.
I felt sick. I had stretched myself too far, and now I was scrambling. I turned to my friend for advice. She didn’t judge me. She just listened. After the call she texted, “I’ve transferred some money to you. Check your account.”
I did. And there it was.
It didn’t end there. Later, as we talked about my financial situation, it became clear I needed guidance. Since she was very good with money I asked if she could help me.
With her coaching, I learned the principles of financial management — principles that apply no matter your income level.
“How you treat one pound is how you’ll treat a million pounds,” she told me. “Having more money won’t automatically make you good with it.”
She was firm but kind. And because of her, I changed my entire approach to money.
Friendships Aren’t One-Size-Fits-All
I used to believe all friendships should look the same. That every friend should be everything — supportive, wise, practical, and encouraging.
But that’s not how it works. Friendships come in different forms, and if you don’t recognise their roles in your life, you risk misinterpreting their actions and losing something valuable.
Recognising Their Roles
Once I understood what each friend brought to the table, everything shifted. I no longer expected everyone to show up in the same way. I learned to appreciate each relationship for what it was.
If you have these four types of people in your life — friend, cheerleader, mentor, coach — cherish them.
And if you don’t?
It might be time to find a mentor, or hire a coach. Life is far more enjoyable with the right people by your side.
Trust me.