Bare Beating and iPad Babies: Are We Fining the Wrong People?

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You haven’t truly suffered a public transport journey until you’ve been trapped in a moving tin can with someone blasting drill music from their phone speakers like they’re headlining Wireless. No headphones. No shame. Just vibes.

Apparently, this is called “bare beating” now. And while the name might sound like an EastEnders insult, it’s actually a growing annoyance, especially on the bus or Tube when you’re just trying to mind your business, sip your coffee, and not cry into your Pret sandwich.

So, the Liberal Democrats have piped up and suggested a £1,000 fine for offenders. A grand! That’s not a slap on the wrist—that’s a full-body slam. Now, I get it. Playing music out loud in public is inconsiderate, a bit selfish, and frankly quite rude. But a £1k fine? That feels less like correcting behaviour and more like robbing someone without a mask.

Here’s a thought: how about we start with a warning? Or even a £50 fine. Enough to sting but not enough to trigger a call to mum in tears. People make stupid decisions—especially young ones who think they’re the main character. But should we bankrupt them for one foolish moment? Maybe not.

Now, while we’re policing public nuisance, can we talk about another group getting side-eye on the streets: parents who hand iPads to toddlers in pushchairs.

Look, I know the parenting police are out in full force. “Back in my day we played with sticks and looked at trees,” they cry. Yes, well, back in your day you could leave kids outside the shop without someone calling social services.

Times have changed. And truthfully, I have more sympathy for a knackered mum juggling a toddler, a bag of shopping, and her remaining scraps of sanity than for someone who decides the entire 149 bus needs to hear their Spotify playlist.

You see, people complain when kids scream in public. “Why can’t they keep them quiet?” they tut. Then they complain when a kid is quietly watching Baby Shark on a screen. “Too much screen time,” they mutter, clutching their oat milk latte like a moral compass. You really can’t win.

So, what’s preferable? A screaming child launching a banana across M&S or one that’s mesmerised by a dancing animated pig? I’ll take the pig, thanks. Especially if I’m queuing behind them with a pounding headache and exactly zero patience.

And let’s be honest—those tablets aren’t just pacifiers. They’re peace offerings. A temporary ceasefire in the daily war of parenting. Give that mum or dad a medal, not a fine. Or at the very least, a hot cuppa.

I read a study recently (yes, between doomscrolling and deleting spam emails) that said excessive screen time can affect children’s development. Fair point. But context matters. If a toddler is glued to an iPad for 12 hours a day while the parent scrolls TikTok obliviously, we’ve got a problem. But if they’re using it so everyone can get through a meal or a commute without a meltdown? That’s called survival.

The bigger issue here is empathy—or rather, the complete lack of it. We’ve become a society obsessed with judging people in public: what they wear, what they say, what they eat, how they parent. Meanwhile, we’re all just trying to get through the day without throttling someone or falling apart.

So, before we start dishing out £1,000 fines for noise pollution or toddler tech use, maybe we need to check our own behaviour. Are we being kind? Are we being fair? Or are we just moaning because we can?

There’s a difference between genuine nuisance and life just happening around you. Bare beating? Yes, it’s annoying. A gentle fine? Sure. But a grand? Come off it. And parents with iPads? Unless that tablet is blasting Peppa Pig through a megaphone, let them be. Sometimes the screen is the only thing standing between calm and chaos.

So let’s save the heavy fines for actual antisocial behaviour—like people who clip their toenails on public transport. Now that should be illegal.