7 Strategies You Can Use to Gracefully Distance Yourself From a Controlling Friend
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash
I met my friend at work. We spent a large part of our days in the same environment, and our birthdays were in the same month, so it was natural that we gravitated towards each other.
She was a lively ball of fire who had survived an abusive relationship. I looked up to her and saw her as an authority on many life matters. I felt I had an ally by my side. We went shopping together — she knew all the shops with good deals. She encouraged me to spend a lot of money. It wasn’t until my account was in the red that I realised how controlling she was.
Friends are meant to be sources of support and joy. When their behaviour becomes overwhelmingly controlling, it can leave us feeling stifled and drained. Confronting such behaviour head-on can be tricky, and often, a more subtle approach is necessary.
Fortunately for me, I found a way to distance myself from my friend. You may find yourself in a similar situation and wondering how to turn things round.
Here are seven strategies you can use to gracefully distance yourself from a controlling friend, allowing you to reclaim your independence and emotional well-being without resorting to drama or confrontation. These tactics will enable you to create the space you need to nurture healthy boundaries and prioritise your own happiness.
Give them room to miss you
Sometimes silence can speak volumes. Instead of constantly responding to texts or chats, try gradually reducing your communication. This sends the message that you need some space, naturally creating distance without causing any major conflicts.
Focus on your personal growth
Shift the conversation to be centered around your own experiences and interests. This helps shift the dynamics of the friendship, making it less about their control and more about your own personal development. By asserting your independence, you can gently steer the friendship in a new direction.
Respect your other friendships
Keeping your interactions with other close friends private. This helps protect those relationships and sets a safe boundary, allowing you to maintain your social connections without interference.
Emphasise your romantic relationship
Similar to the previous point, openly discussing your significant other helps redirect the focus away from your controlling friend. This not only showcases your commitment to your love life but also establishes a clear boundary between your personal space and their influence. This lessens the temptation for them to exert control.
Claim busyness, even if you’re not
Communicating that you have a lot on your plate is a non-confrontational way to create some distance. It allows you to gracefully decline invitations or postpone plans without explicitly stating your desire for space. This technique gives you the freedom to control the pace of the relationship fading out.
Keep plans flexible
When making plans, try to be vague and open-ended. Avoid specifying specific dates and times, allowing you to assess your comfort level with the friendship and decide on your own terms when and how you want to engage.
Encourage them to take the lead
Controllers often enjoy having control over every aspect of the relationship, from activities to conversations. By subtly shifting the responsibility onto them, you regain control over your own time and choices. This tactic empowers you to navigate the friendship on your own terms without directly confronting their controlling behavior.
Final thoughts
Dissolving a relationship with a controlling friend requires finesse and a gentle approach. By using these subtle strategies, you can gradually create space without causing unnecessary conflicts or drama.
Remember, setting healthy boundaries is key to your own well-being, and it’s absolutely acceptable to prioritise your own happiness and independence in relationships.
Originally published at original.newsbreak.com.