5 Benefits of Being a Quiet Person

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I consider myself a quiet person. I usually do not speak when I have nothing meaningful to add. Sometimes people have asked why I don’t speak up more often. The answer is because over the years I’ve learned that being quiet has many advantages. Here are five:

1. It Can Get You Out of Awkward Situations

When you are known for being a quiet person there is no pressure for you to share your view or opinion. If your comment is likely to cause dissent between people you can quietly get yourself out of a potentially awkward situation by saying nothing.

I once worked for a company where employees were unhappy with certain working conditions. Senior managers learned of it and a meeting was arranged with a director. Before the meeting, we outlined our grievances and decided that if the director refused to listen to us, we would back each other up.

The team arrived at the meeting confident we would accomplish our goals. What we, or rather I, didn’t realize (I cannot speak for the others) was that an individual had forewarned the director.

As opposed to the lead member of our group presenting our grievance, the director came right out and said, “I understand you have a problem with XYZ. Is that correct?”

She looked at each of us in turn, expecting each individual to speak for themselves. Every single team member denied having any problems whatsoever. I remember sitting there thinking and wanting to say, “So what are we all doing here? Just having a coffee with the director?”

Being the quiet and observant person I was, I quickly realised something was very wrong. I said nothing as I recognized that there was something bigger at stake than a simple grievance. It saved my skin.

2. It Stops You Saying the Wrong Thing

Our ego is the one that often gets us into trouble. We want to prove that we know more than the next person. We want to defend ourselves and show up in good light.

There is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself but there is a right and wrong way to do it.

The right way is to give yourself time to think before you respond.

The wrong way is speaking without thinking. I love the way Tim Denning puts it:

The way to break the temptation of your ego is to delay the reaction. Tell yourself “it’s okay to react, just do it later.” The gap of time punctuated by silence allows you to gain perspective. With perspective you realize silence is a better strategy to avoid trouble.

3. It Can Keep You Out of Trouble

A friend’s daughter was celebrating her 18th birthday so we decided to take her out for a celebratory meal. The roads were busy with private cars and taxis as well as cyclists and buses jostling for space on the road.

An impatient driver cut right in front of us and took a parking space that we had been eyeing. As our car screeched to a halt I was reminded of a scene from the movie “The Colour Purple.” One of the characters had just insulted the very short tempered Miss Sophia played by Oprah Winfrey.

“Fine with me,” was her simple reply. As soon as Miss Sophia uttered those words patrons quickly made their exit. One musician commented, “Time to go!” as he hastily packed his instrument. Then all hell broke loose.

All hell broke loose for us too on that busy London Street. I don’t know how many people had their day disrupted as my friend and the offending driver blocked the road whilst exchanging heated words. Our happy day was totally ruined.

Two grown men who should have been having a good day, who should have known better, ended up in trouble. It wasn’t worth it.

4. You Become a Better Listener

There’s a lot of noise in the world. People talk over each other in meetings just trying to prove they know more. In relationships partner’s comments are cut off in mid sentence. They assume they know what you are going to say.

When you are a quiet person you become a better listener. When people feel heard they are more likely to give you more information. It’s a great way to get to know people and understand who they are or why they do what they do.

You give yourself time to think through your comments before speaking.

5. People are More Likely to Trust You

Quiet people are usually also discreet. Because they don’t offer their views and opions in every conversation they are less likely to be misquoted by others. Their friends, family and associates don’t have to worry about them gossiping and revealing their secrets.

Finally

If you are the type of person who speaks without thinking, likes to offer your opinion in every situation, or lets their tongue run away with them don’t worry. You can easily incorporate the positive aspects of being a quiet person into your own life.

• Think about what you want to say before you speak. It helps you organise your thoughts and arguments in a coherent manner. You give yourself a better chance of winning arguments or receiving a favourable response.

• Learn to let others speak first. It may change previously held assumptions about a person or situation. It puts you in the driving seat because you know what the others think and how they are likely to react when you share your view.

• Pause before answering questions directed at you. It gives you time to take charge of your emotions and answer appropriately.

Remember — how you behave says more about you as a person than what you say.

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